"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you…" John 14:18

So I thought I would keep this short and sweet mainly because I only had a few minutes to tell everyone our news!

So after waiting, praying, struggling, and drawing closer to the Lord in the process, we have met 2 little sweet girls who we have chosen to bring home into our family…

I don't have much more to say other then God is SO good and we can't wait for the day that they arrive.  It is looking like it is going to happen pretty quickly which means in the next few weeks!

I am so incredibly grateful for those of you who have prayed with us and just been such incredible support along this process….

My words can't adequately describe how thankful I am for you.

1 year later…. still no kids.

HEY Friends!

So I feel like I need to start off by addressing the obvious. Yes, I believe it has been almost exactly a year since I last divulged the current status of our adoption journey, and I honestly can't believe it has  ALREADY BEEN ANOTHER YEAR!!!! So nuts.

It is quite ironic that we have now been on and off pursuing a family through adoption for 3 years now. Really, where does the time go? I am just perplexed as to how it hasn't felt even close to 3 years since we dropped off our first application.

I wanted to catch everyone up with where we are and what comes next. Basically, after the home study that Deaconess performed almost a year ago, they sent us a letter (and called us I believe)  to let us know that they were excited to say that we were good to move forward with the process and start looking at profiles of kiddos that are currently in the Oklahoma DHS system. I think the first stack they gave me was about 2 inches thick. Every child has a number (similar to prison) and a VERY short blurb about their likes and dislikes. They also include the most blurry, black and white (sometimes color),  unrecognizable picture that is pretty much useless. Lindy, our case worker (who is amazing), basically pulled out some of the sibling groups and asked if we wanted to pursue anyone (which basically means she will contact DHS and put our name on those kids and maybe just maybe we will get notified by DHS if DHS feels we would be a good fit. We are so incredibly blessed to go through this journey with Lindy and the rest of the ladies at Deaconess. There is no way I could personally do this if I had to work with DHS directly. It is a very flawed system.

The several months that followed, we were emailed by Deaconess several profiles of kids that Deaconess felt would possibly fit into our criteria, although if you asked me what our criteria would be I wouldn't even be able to tell you except I always wanted 4 kids (any race, mostly any age under 12???14? heck I really don't know, and a sibling group? maybe?). Jeremiah on the other hand has always felt (until very recently) that 2-3 kiddos would suit him just fine. I think he always thought they would be younger (2-4 years), but wasn't against older. So….. as laughable as out criteria may seem, Deaconess has done their best in sending us profiles that we might want to pursue.

There has been about 3 different scenarios that have been on the more challenging side of this journey so far in the last year. The first was a call that we received maybe a few weeks after becoming approved by Deaconess. There was a little boy that was being "re-homed" by his adopted mother and father. He was originally from out of the country, adopted at age 2 into the states by this family, and now at age 8 the family (mostly the mother) decided that their home was not the best "fit" for this young man and now wanted Deaconess to find him a more suitable forever home. The kicker was, that the father and little boy were "waiting" in a hotel room for a new family to step up and take this child off of their hands. I know. I know. This is the world we live in.

The second was a similar "re-homing" issue, except this child was a biological child that was being re-homed by his mother. Both this situation and the previous, Jeremiah didn't feel God leading our family towards either of these two very very sad situations, and although I was more caught up into the need of it all, I truly was extremely unclear as to if these were our kids or not. I think the most difficult and most challenging part of adoption through the states is that we have all the power (in the first stage anyway). We decide who and what, and then once we decide, then DHS decides.  In these re-homing situations, DHS wasn't in the picture so it really was mostly up to us.  How do you say no to a child that is "waiting out" the biggest transition of their life?  I just THANK GOD for my husband, and the clear direction that God will give him in these painful times. Without him I would be a huge mess. All in all, we chose to pass on these 2 situations, and pray for clear direction.

The last challenging situation is one that was a little different. There were a set of 3 little boys from Ohio that I found on one of the adoption websites. I found them last December 1st, and while reading their profile, I realized that the social worker in charge of these kids was asking that all home studies be submitted to Ohio by December 4th. I immediately had Jeremiah look at the site with me, and although I was already sold on the idea, he was taking WAY TOO LONG to decide! :) Because we only had 3 days to get our paperwork in, I basically talked him into at least letting us submit our home study and see what happens. He agreed so we called Deaconess and they got all the paperwork sent and was told that we would hear something in a week or so. Well…….. a month later, and one small little email later, we find out that they are still reviewing home studies and now with the holidays its going to be January until we hear something. Well, I continued to send emails asking for updates, and would never get a response (from Ohio). The social worker called me once to ask a few questions, and I was THRILLED to hear from her since I probably called 8 times and sent 10 emails with ZERO response. She basically gave me little to NO time to answer any of her questions and quickly rushed me off the phone telling me that it is still going to be a ways before they know anything. I did however find out that there were about 10 other families also waiting for these boys, so at least we knew they were going to be going to a loving home.

 On my birthday, Feb 11, I got a call from Deaconess saying that the folks from Ohio did not choose us, we were in the top 3, but they decided to go with an older couple in their 50's who had more experience with children that have come from hard places and felt they would be a better fit.

It was a bitter sweet day. I did cry, but not necessarily because we didn't get those boys, but because the inevitable emotional roller coaster. During the waiting time it is seemingly impossible not to picture life with these prospective kiddos. Situations like these are incredible reminders that although we may think we have the control, we really have NO control. God will create our family, not us.
____________

Fast forward to a month ago.

We were invited to what they call an "Adoption Party". These parties should be quickly reevaluated. If we had them in any other county I am quite confident that they wouldn't be legal.

We sat and perused with wide eyes as we gathered with other hopeful parents through an event where over 100 children were essentially dropped off to mingle with all of us "hopefuls". They gave us a book when we arrived to let us know who would be there with a short bio telling us little tidbits of their personalty traits, etc. I quickly noticed that in the very back of the book was a group of brothers who I was familiar with. One of my great friends, McKayla, had sent me a link to a story that the Oklahoma News did on these brothers in pursuit of finding them a forever home.

We basically got to spend about an hour with these amazing brothers and at the end of the event chose to write their names down on the Waiting Child Interest Sheet that was provided to us.  We were told they would contact our worker at Deaconess and we would hear something soon. Well soon NEVER feels like soon. Its one of those horribly inconspicuous words they use which basically tells you zip.

The good news is that the DHS worker has had conversations with the boys letting them know that we would love to adopt them, however, we were just told that a "distant relative" who lives out of state has just stepped forward and would like to adopt the boys. This isn't the end for us, however it is certainly a bump in the road.  It is also unfortunately going to hold things up for a bit.  In the DHS system blood relatives are always going to be chosen first (as long as it's a "healthy" environment). If DHS decides that the relative won't be the best fit, I believe we will then be able to move forward with the boys (which I don't know what that exactly means, except we will progress to the "next step").

Prayer Request….Of course I need to ask for prayer for a couple of reasons…. 1. We desperately don't know what we are doing. 2. God definitely knows what He is doing.

Thanks for taking the time to read this… I know it was terribly long, which wasn't the plan, but I am so blessed when people ask how we are doing with this journey and thought this would be the best way to give an update :))))


Love you all.

Sarah

Surprise! Im updating my blog!

I have to be the absolute best blogger on the planet. I mean 2 years between posts… pretty on point.

So I just remembered I had a blog about 20 minutes ago so I did what any familiar blogger would do and wracked my brain about what the utterly most secure password could possibly be. Speaking of passwords, I HATE them. yes hate. I can never remember which combo I used at that given time, did I capitalize, was this before 2014 when the internet world came up with the bright idea to encourage numbers and special characters??? AUGHHHHH I CANT EVER REMEMBER what I thought was so "easy to remember" at that time!!!  and if my computer doesn't remember it, forget it, I certainly won't remember it. God forbid I have to get on hulu or netflix on a different tv or computer then my usual tv or computer, and 20 minutes in, I might be getting somewhere. maybe. rant over.

Anywho, blogging. Its been almost 2 years since I started this journey of "writing down my feelings" and after I finally got in past the gates of blogging land (aka my password protection), I read all of the whopping 4 posts  that I managed to muster up as we started this journey and boy did that bring me back. My first thought was wow, I can't believe we started the adoption journey 2 years ago and we are still a family of 4; husband, wife, and 2 precious furry princesses I lovingly call Tallulah and Matilda (which today, Matilda chased down a man about 3 blocks away at full speed and the man practically fell on his face/twisted an ankle, saw his life flash before his eyes, etc. etc. It was awesome let me tell you, sigh*). My second thought was wow,  I'm kinda funny. And third, can you really think of yourself as funny? thats weird right.

So where to even start. Almost 2 years ago we pursued DHS to grow our family. We didn't have a clue what adoption in the state of Oklahoma even consisted of, all we knew was God put it on our hearts to "adopt some kids", so that's the road we jumped on. P.S. "adopt some kids" is one of those phrases that I think is the most tacky way of describing adoption. However, my husband says it at least every 3rd day. Its amazing. ugh….

So my last post talked about my paperwork almost being done through DHS (I missed the lengthy 20 day deadline btw, not sure how I did that,  but I did). So as I emailed the man that we initially met at DHS with regards to my delay, and how I would need to get "back in the system" it took him about 3 weeks to respond (hence my first hesitancy with going straight to DHS).  I needed more from DHS, possibly a little coddling, someone to hold my hand and lead us through the unknown world of adoption. You know, not asking for much :) I didn't sense that that was going to be the case through DHS but we didn't know of any other options so we just waited.  A couple months (maybe weeks) went by (I really don't know since it was almost 16 months ago, yikes),  a gentlemen from a Private Foster Care Agency came in to five80, our coffeehouse, and heard we were wanting to adopt through the state. He seemed wonderful, available, compassionate, and truly passionate about meeting the needs of these waiting children. We thought this was the way we were going to meet our children. Without going through too much detail, we were assigned a case worker that was just not the right fit for us…  Without divulging too much, we knew this wasn't the path that would be for us, so we just stalled the process for a few months… not knowing what to do exactly we just became a bit stagnant and continued working on the bajillion projects we had presently taken on during this time. We were renovating the loft above our coffeehouse and things were at their craziest.  If we didn't have SO many moving parts to our daily lives, the waiting for direction would have been a bit more concerning, but to be honest, I didn't even really notice how much time was passing as we were up against some major deadlines in our ministry.

Some friends of ours were working with an organization called Deaconess Pregnancy and Adoption Center and they absolutely raved about the experience that they were having with them. Although our friends were wanting to adopt an infant through Deaconess, we later learned that Deaconess was just starting their "Older Child Adoption Program" which was the path we were wanting to pursue through DHS (initially). We were told that in October (of 2014) that they were having an Older Child Orientation, so we decided to check it out and put it on the calendar.  During the few weeks of waiting for the orientation, I did TONS of research on Deaconess. I wanted so badly for this to be the place we would actively pursue. I LOVED what they stood for and at this point heard absolutely NOTHING but positive things (and continually do) about their pursuit to come along side these families and walk with them hand in hand.

October 23rd came and we attended the orientation and pretty much knew. This was the place. Let the angels rejoice!!!

The next step was the Application which was quite thick, background checks, yada yada, all the same stuff we already did with the other agency… but now with a BIG smile. I was doing it all again, but I didn't care.  A couple weeks later we got a letter saying that they ACCEPTED OUR APPLICATION and now we needed to attend a 2 day training session back at Deaconess.  Let. me. tell. you.  These two days in February (of this year) was awesome. I learned SOOOOO much. I also learned how much I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!

Jeremiah's response was slightly different. Although HE LOVED the info, sitting for TWO WHOLE DAYS in a classroom environment was absolutely true torture. I think being waterboarded would have sounded more appealing. Dramatic? yes. but that's Jeremiah. You would have thought he was being handcuffed to satan on rollerblades and then being asked to sit still. Really. My overly active partner in crime never ceases to amaze me. At one point I had to stare at him SO intensely to STOP MOVING that I surely thought we by far looked like the most unhealthy "pre-parents" they have ever seen. I almost died a little inside a few times when he kept tapping anything that would make noise, and blurt out questions that only attempted to "rush things along"… (sigh**) got to love how God made us SOOOO different, right? :D

The next steps were our personal independent interviews at Deaconess where they met with us for what they said would be an hour (or longer). Jeremiah's was like 45 minutes, not sure how he pulled that one off, but he did. They asked us questions about our families, marriage, expectations, etc.  I assume they want the couples separated so wives can't kick their husbands under the table when they tell  "jokes" (thats what he calls them anyway….)

Fast forward to yesterday, the official HOME STUDY where they look around the house, figure out how many bedrooms we have, how safe our home is, or isn't,  interview us some more (together this time) and overall gauge what our life looks like on a more intimate level. The girl that has been assigned to our journey is an adorable 20 something that could not be more mature and more suited for this job. She is extremely smart, knowledgeable, skilled, and PASSIONATE about adoption. We love her. She has been a true gift to this process. Again, another reason why we LOVE deaconess, their hiring choices are ON POINT!

So today, I am blogging because I really love the idea of being able to one day look back and truly remember this process in all its confusion, glory, frustration, and joy.   If I didn't have my decisive, bold, eager, passionate husband by my side I would crumble, no doubt about it. Last night we were on www.adoptuskids.org and oh man……. tears, tears, and more tears.  This website shows all the available children across the United States that are without a mother and father. They have now added videos to a few kids' profiles and oh the pain that rushes over me when  I see these amazing, beautiful and pained children desperately desiring a forever family.  My desperate question to God is this… Moving forward, how in the world will we choose?

Your prayers are everything to us. Thanks for reading :)

Sarah

don't really have a title.

It's crazy how when we have something so great to look forward to how our past can so slightly creep in our minds making us so much more aware of the mistakes we have made in our previous lives, and for better or for worse, it ultimately make us into the people we have become today.

Before I met my darling Jeremiah I had a very interesting dating life. I dated people for at least a couple years and then would move on to the next. I did this since I was about 16. I don't ever remember being single. Just jumping from one relationship to the next. I made so SO many mistakes and wish I could do it all SO differently. I am now thinking about what it is going to be like to raise my own children and how my very colorful past will reflect in my future parenting. Sin is such an interesting thing. As I grow and mature its crazy how I can see things SO MUCH more clearly. The bibles "rules" and guidelines  aren't there to control our behaviors for the sake of control, they are there so we will be protected from the memories and consequences we can face in our future. Who wouldn't love to talk to your 16 year old self and let them in on a few secrets? I surely would.

As I have spent time filling out the DHS paperwork to one day turn into the DHS office (It is taking me forever!!!)  The questions they ask unapologetically prompts us to have to visit our past and although my past isn't as colorful as some, it has made me feel a little inadequate.  The weird thing is, the questions aren't even that probing, it's just the process that makes you think about all your insecurities. (side note, I pulled my name up on Oklahoma's court background check site and I am CLEAN!! not one ticket even popped up...whew! Now Jeremiah's??? well he had a couple of little things on there. we just won't talk about that right now :) lol).

I don't even know if this post is making any sense, but the bottom line is that wherever this process takes us I know it's going to be challenging but at the end of the day, miraculous.

Paperwork is almost done, just waiting on J to have a few minutes and sign his name in a few places (boy, he sure has it rough) and we will be good to go. Next steps after this is a home inspection, then some classes (a lot of classes actually), then the home study and then… well so many more things, but the amazing thing is that God already knows who our children are and the time that it takes to get to the last step is all in His hands. What a sigh of relief.


G'night all. I think I just need some rest tonight :)

-S

What a day.

So today started really well! (Ended weird), but started good.

I woke up before my alarm (that NEVER happens), and then headed to bible study. One of my most FAVORITE bible teacher ever, and good friend was sharing on her latest mission month in China. Her time sharing was an incredible ending to the Gideon study we had been in during the last several weeks. We learned that in our weaknesses God has the chance to show HIS strength.  It has been such a great study and you would think after a morning with GREAT wisdom I would have been pumped for the rest of the day but that was really not the case.

I left bible study feeling great (who would't),  and then called J on my way to the house to see if he wanted me to pick him up or not so we could head to our meeting with DHS. Soon after I hung up the phone I started feeling SUPER stressed and full of anxiety. It literally hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was so  strange. I couldn't really even wrap my mind around why I was feeling so anxious, after all, I was really excited to gather more information on a process that still felt so unknown (and frankly still does).
So I did what any good christian wife would do in that situation........ I started a fight with my husband. What about you might ask? I HAVE NO IDEA. I don't even remember now (It was that important).

ANYWAY, we get there. I have tears in my eyes? WHY? still not really sure? As I started to touch up my makeup so I wouldn't look like a psycho, we walked inside and waited for our guy to come and greet us. I started to feel normal again. Why? I still don't know. Think I am weird? Thats ok, My husband would totally agree.

Well.... we sit down and he literally gives me NO time for small talk. I at least wanted to talk about the weather or the Sooners/Orange Pride or SOMETHING so he could see how awesome we were but we were going to go straight into it. Somehow I suppose I was feeling like maybe motherhood would be directly related to witty chit-chat...umm, yeah.

OHHHH!!! let me just tell you what Jeremiah decided to wear! THE MOST WRINKLY PANTS YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. He didn't even bother to shave (for the last 2 weeks) and a Hoodie. (Rolling my eyes as we speak).  Did I mention my husband also has DREADLOCKS. He screamed responsibility.

Ok, back to the meeting. So he started asking us who/what we were willing to adopt. It felt VERY VERY strange. We kinda just stumbled over our answers. We both weren't even answering the same, (way to show unity to the stranger) until Jeremiah spoke up with a very boisterous "We really are open".  lol.

The guy went over a ton of details and he answered every one of my 2 pages of questions that I had prepared prior. He was really great and handled me like a pro (I can be a little extreme when it comes to gathering info).  He handed me the famous manilla envelope with a tall stack of questions about every aspect of our current/past life inside.  We have 20 days to return the envelope (filled out of course) or our file will be returned.

the stack.

20 days seems fair although Jeremiah seems to think I can do it in a couple days. what? At one point I ACCIDENTALLY said WE when speaking about the packet and then I QUICKLY returned with. "I will do my best".

Driving back to the coffeehouse I started feeling super weird again. I had to handle a Bank Error over the phone and started crying. oh my.  Let me just end with this... I AM NOT A CRYER SO THIS WAS SUCH A WEIRD DAY.

Now I am home, left the coffeehouse early and came home and hung out with my husband. If I had to sum up the day I would call it successful, just be thankful you didn't have to hang out with me today :)

Tomorrow is a new day. Right?

Love you all.

-S

Guess who called?

DHS CALLED ME BACK!! WOHOOO!!!

So today on my way into work I got a call from a blocked number. I truly contemplated if I should even answer since it was surely someone that I probably wouldn't necessarily want to hear from...  (telemarketer, etc).  But I did, and I am so glad that I did :)

It was DHS and we set up an appointment for Wednesday morning. I called their office (and left a message) late last week so I was quite curious why I hadn't received a phone call back. I remember at the conference I went to (the one that I went to w/out my husband, uh-huh) made reference to the fact that the Department isn't avoiding our phone calls on purpose as they generally just have more pressing issues to take care of. I easily understood and was going to wait a few more days before I bothered them again, but I didn't need to as today was our lucky day!

So how am I feeling?
Well I told Jeremiah as soon as I saw him that they called us to schedule an appointment and his answer was as nonchalant as if I asked him to take out the trash; "oh, ok, cool" (not that he would respond to taking out the trash that way, but you know what I mean).  Am I feeling so calm? Well I suppose I am, I am very excited though. I want to learn more about this process. It seems there are so many opinions about this journey, I am most desperate to just hear the facts straight from the source. EVERYONE seems to have a friend who has adopted through the state and they all seem to know how it's done, except it seems as though each story is slightly different... hmm...


I will let you all know how Wednesday goes. Really wish tomorrow was Wednesday but I suppose I can wait another day :)

G'night all.
Sarah

P.S. I caught Jeremiah reading a book about adoption the other night, it warmed my heart :) So thankful God has called us both to this exciting journey.

Guess we would call this the beginning.

Hello YOU!

Well I am first really excited to, one, have a blog (I think I am about 10 years behind), and two, be able to look at this as a very public journal where we can track our journey together!

I have been following a few blogs lately reading about families that have either just started their adoption journey or further down the path where they have tracked the story of living day to day with a family that was put together through adoption.

So what does this mean? The answer is Yes. We are starting our own story of adoption and we want to take you along with us for many reasons. Excited??? WE ARE TOO!!! but we are desperate for your prayers. This is going to be an exciting, bumpy, difficult, rewarding journey yet we are ready for every minute of it.

Last Saturday I (yes, I did not have my husband by my side- more on that later) went to my first adoption seminar in Oklahoma City. It was wonderful, emotional, and more importantly it provided the flood gates of confirmation that I was waiting for. What more could I have asked for? well not much except I would have LOVED for my HUSBAND, my partner, to have been by my side, instead, I went as a sister wife (that's a joke) to a sweet couple who let me crash their intimate car time where they too were going with eager hearts to hear more about adoption.  I just looked like the crazy tag along that kept adding that "yes this is both my husband and my decision to adopt".
I said "we" a lot.

Jeremiah and I had been looking forward to this seminar for about a month when this particular day ended up being the busiest day of the YEAR with one of our businesses, Jump4Joy. We own an inflatable company (bouncy houses) without kids. Think that is weird? so do we, except it's the biggest blessing to us. Anyway, since it was going to look like there was no possible way for him to go we decided that I should probably still go. Best decision.

In a nut shell we have decided to pursue DHS (Department of Human Services) which is Oklahoma's resource to protect children that are in critical situations and cannot stay with their biological families.  There are approximately 2900 children in the system and about 350 that are currently adoptable and waiting for forever families.  Can't even really tell you why we chose this route we just kind of have and it feels right.

Choosing the path towards adoption is pretty overwhelming, there are SO MANY ways you can go. International, or domestic, private or state, baby or child, 1 kid or 5 kids, black, white, yellow or purple.... ohh the choices...  But for some reason DHS seems like it will be our story for now, if that changes, it changes, but for now this is where we are going to move forward.

I probably should also tell you that we recently met a sibling group through a friend that is currently fostering a 6 month old, a 1 year old, and a 2 year old. Crazy? yeah I suppose so, but God has the most amazing way of making crazy not so crazy when it could quite possibly be the road he has for us. We have no idea if these are our kids, all we know is that God has a plan and that is the ONLY plan we desire.

Thank you for following this journey with us. We are ready :)
Let the paperwork begin!

-S